ain’t perfect at all.

I'm not a perfect girlfriend. I'm a complicated one. 
I get to be very moody and no doubt emotional.
I'm not a cool one who is cool with anything. 
I need affection, I need love. 
I always need something that makes me needy.
I get mad easily, offended because of my sensitivity. 
I'm no doubt hard to be with. 

When people think I'm the girlfriend material, I laugh from within. 
I'm an arrogant fool who makes her boyfriend sad because of her iron hand. 
I'm nosy and wicked. 
I try to know everything.
I hate being out of place. 
I'm jealous in every angle. 
So again I say.. I'm not perfect.. 

You can run from me now, or be stuck with me forever. 

Love you Ryan.. Always thanking God for your Patience!  

Thought for the day Kuno.

I feel as if depression is overcoming the joy in heart. Setting a goal once more, I’m thinking how i’ll start all over again… and this is how i wanted to start it.. By being with God first. I remember a verse in the bible which says ” Seek first the kingdom of God and everything will follow.”. I’m trying to see what is inside my heart, but then I realized how our heart is deceitful above all. So again, I concluded that I should run to God and put my trust in Him.

Bitter-sweet reality. I’m in love and i am loved, but jealousy at times or most of the time brings out my insecurities which could cloud my senses and emotions.. even my way of thinking. This reality is PAINFUL.

So.. what defines pain? I realized that pain is defined by a lot of things such as love, hate, freedom, success, and more.. which damages oneself at first. But come to think of it.. you only feel pain when you actually care…

Happiness is a gift from God and I think pain is as well. Why? It is because when you are happy you thank God for whatever reason and when you are in pain, you seek and talk to God for comfort and protection. I believe that an opportunity to actually have a conversation with God is a gift. It is not everyday we get to practice this — conversing with God.

 

Make me understand…

Honestly.. I don’t know what to write, the title of this post is all that. I’m not in good shape so after this, I’ll just sweat all the thoughts that is running through my head at the gym. As much as I want to be optimistic with things, at some point, through people’s action you become apprehensive. Its not funny. It upsets me, but I try to be okay with whatever. Maybe someday.. at some point.. I’ll get tired of it and just be okay.. or probably not care ( which i don’t want to happen .. )..

God, just make me understand the things that are blurry in my sight. Make me understand the things that confuses me and the things that takes away my trust.. God, you alone can restore me. Alam ko Lord para akong baliw kasi hindi ko naiintindihan mga bagaybagay. Nagagalit po ako at napipikon. Lord, nasasaktan din po ako.. Kayo na po bahala sakin.. Kung ano man po ang mangyari, kayo na po bahala sakin kagaya po ng lagi niyong ginagawa po sakin.. alagaan po ako. Salamat po Lord.